Golden iPod

The Golden iPod Award is awarded to a person who managed to become [[an hero]] (i.e. [[No shit|commit suicide]]) in a [[lulzy]] way that brought joy to the [[interwebs]]. There can only be one Golden [[iPod]] each year, and the competition is very tough. The first person ever to receive an Golden iPod was [[Mitchell Henderson]], for his drama-inducing self-pwnage and subsequent posthumous pioneering of the phrase "[[an hero]]."

Requirements for the Golden iPod Award

* The person must have become [[an Hero]].
* There must be [[drama]] involved.
* The person must have become an hero in a [[lulzy]] way.

An Hero, [[2006]]

of the [[2006]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]

* [[Mitchell Henderson]]
For becoming the first person to receive the An Hero title and for bringing many lulz to the Internet. Mitchell showed us that death does not have to be sad, but could in fact be quite hilarious. For losing his iPod and creating a new classic [[meme]] in the process, Mitchell Henderson lives on in our hearts and in our hard drives, and receives the inaugural Golden iPod Award of 2006.

[[2007]]

of the [[2007]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]

Nominees

*[[Chris Benoit]]
*[[Ben Vodden]]
*[[Broady Paul Ledet]]
*[[Charmaine Dragun]]
*[[Jodie Gater and Stephanie Gestier]]
*[[Kevin Neil Whitrick]]
*[[Cho Seung-Hui]]
*[[Pekka-Eric Auvinen]]
*[[Asa Coon]]
*[[Tyler Dumstorf]]

An Winner

*[[Cho Seung-Hui]]
For performing the amazing feat of 32 * over 9,000 kills (33 31 if you count his self-pwning; suicide penalty, lulz), a high score which has yet to be broken learn to history ([[Port Arthur massacre]])(BRB Jail, Not An Hero - Epic win: Uiryeong massacre). But also for spawning major [[drama]], [[lulz]], and controversy on the interwebs. Cho also posted a tape of himself making lulzy threats, which has become a famed and legendary video. Mr. Seung-Hui even became a [[meme]], and even today, there are still people posting his image on the web.

[[2008]]

of the [[2008]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]
[[Golden iPod/Nominees 2008]]

Nominees

*[[Codey Porter|Codey "Code Red" Porter]]
*[[Hannah Bond|Hannah "Black Parade" Bond]]
*[[Megan Meier|Megan "Bulling Is Rabbit" Meier]]
*[[Jake Roberts|Jake "An Wii-ro" Roberts]]
*[[Joshua Nimm|Joshua "An Halo" Nimm]]
*[[Mr. Saari|Matti "The Finnisher" Saari]]
*[[Shaun Dykes|Shaun "GET ON WITH IT?" Dykes]]
*[[Candyjunkie|Abraham "Candyjunkie" Biggs]]
*[[Bruce Jeffrey Pardo|Bruce "Satan Claus" Pardo]]

Disqualified nominees

*[[Heath Ledger]] - He overdosed by accident, he never meant to become an hero. His OD wasn't even worth a darwin award, unlike [[Codey Porter]].
*[[Brandon Crisp]] - He had a luzly brawl with his parents, like [[Jake Roberts|Jake "An Wii-ro" Roberts]], but he did not run out in the woods to kill himself. He fell from a tree by accident, which is a unfunny death. [[Brandon Crisp]] was disqualified even though he is popular and did bring many lulz to the Internets and a [[b|specific image board]]. If Brandon jumped from a cliff or hanged himself from that tree, he could have won the game.
*[[Sam Leeson]] - Even though he spawned some lulz on 4chan and Bebo, he was nominated too late. PROTIP: nominate people before the voting starts.

An Winner

*[[Bruce Jeffrey Pardo|Bruce "Satan Claus" Pardo]]

Bruce Jeffrey Pardo has [[winnar|won]] 2008's Golden iPod Award for the incredibly lulzy task of [[cosplay|dressing up]] like Santa Claus on Christmas Eve, knocking on his in-laws' door while they were having a Christmas party, and shooting an 8-year-old girl in the face when she answered. He subsequently went on to [[pwn]] nine people in all, including himself, but not before burning the house down with a flamethrower. The only explanation possible for this act is that he was extremely horny? Bruce Jeffrey Pardo was an amazing individual, but not least of all, he was [[An Hero]].

[[2009]]

of the [[2009]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]

Nominees

*[[Tim Kretschmer]]
*[[Tony48219]]
*[[Jiverly Voong]]
*[[George Sodini]]

Disqualified

*[[Fort Hood|Nidal Malik "AbduWali" Hasan]] - Despite Getting Forth Place on the Southeast Regional High Score Leaderboard, he hereby has been disqualified after Æ's judges decided that paralyzation does not count as An Hero of the legs.
*[[David Carradine]] - Even though his death was self inflicted with help from an Asian hooker, David Carradines death was not planned nor [[Lie|lulzy]]. Æ's judges decided that you gotta have intent to become an hero. Carradine is out.

An Winner

*[[Tony48219]]

Tony48219 won [[2009]]'s Golden iPod Award for going on a road trip to kill a negro [[Boxxy]] for hating on his religion. He has earned the respect of his fellow man for truly standing up for what he believes in.

[[2010]]

of the [[2010]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]
By default, it goes to [[OldDirtyBtard]]. Rest in peace bro.

On Saturday, October 30, OldDirtyBtard was martyred by the Pharisitic bastards at the Church of [[Scientology]]. The cause of death was labeled suicide, and the [[police]] refuse to investigate the issue further. He will be sorely missed. As ODB was a career alcoholic, over-aged EDiots (a word invented by the Captain himself) are advised to take a shot in remembrance.

[[2011]]

of the [[2011]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]
The Golden iPod for 2011 goes to The [[Girlvinyl|Sherrodocracy]]. Because of the valiant suicide of Encyclopedia Dramatica dot com, we were able to rise from the ashes and become the ED that ED was meant to be.

[[2012]]

of the [[2012]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]
The 2012 Golden iPod winner is [[Amanda Todd]]. A [[16-year-old girl]] who got bullied in school for [[whore|fucking some dude who had a girlfriend]] because he pretended to love her. She also camwhored online and ended up having to change schools three times because some pedo tried to blackmail her for more nudes and kept posting her [[tits]] on [[Facebook]] for all her classmates to see when she refused. She eventually was "bullied" into becoming [[an hero]] by drinking bleach hanging herself on her [[Lame|third suicide attempt]]. She drank bleach during her first attempt, [[Fail|but survived after having her stomach pumped]].

Close seconds: An [[Asperger's Syndrome|autistic]] hero named [[Elementary Nightmare Before Christmas|Adam Lanza]] who committed the very lulzy act of pwning his mother, stealing her guns, using those guns to pwn twenty kids and six adults at the local elementary school, and then shooting himself.

[[2013]]

of the [[2013]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]
This year's winner is hyper-nigger [[Chris Dorner]]. Notable for inciting a county-wide manhunt after he published a manifesto and went out on a killing spree against the police who fired him. Finally he was cornered in a cabin in the woods which the police set on fire to try and smoke him out. But black rambo would not be taken so easily and he http://abcnews.go.com/US/christopher-dorner-autopsy-death-single-gunshot-head/story?id=18518676" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">took the express train to hell instead with a close range headshot.

Other nominees

* [[Aaron Swartz]] - Emo [[Reddit]] Jew.

* [[Ariel Castro]] - Killed himself in jail after being incarcerated for snatching up all the white girls.

[[2014]]

of the [[2014]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]

Nominees

*[[Elliot Rodger]] - The Supreme Gentleman, the most alpha of the betas, and a poster boy for [[fedora]] enthusiasts everywhere, Elliot Rodger went on a killing spree and then killed himself simply because he couldn't get laid. As a result, he died a virgin, started a #YesAllWomen shitstorm all over social media, and added more fuel to the already-burning feminazi/SJW movement. *tips fedora in his honor.*
*[[Leelah Alcorn]] - A teenage [[tranny]] who committed suicide by jumping in front of some Arab's truck just to prove a point. And that point was that he was a Satanic heathen who refused to embrace his loving parents' Christian values by yearning to chop off his penis, change his name from Joshua to Leelah, and live a self-mutilated, gender-confused life as a devil-worshiping freak. If anything, he deserves the award for doing us a favor by ridding us of his maladjusted existence at such an early age.
*[[JewWario]] - A contributor of [[TGWTG]] who shot himself at the beginning of the year as an only escape from the shitty Internet circlejerk he had wrongfully associated himself with. The only lulzy thing to come out of it were the trolls decrying his death as a hoax used to earn sympathy money.

Disqualified nominees

*[[Robin Williams]] - The shitty actor best remembered for voicing an effeminate animated genie who befriends a homeless kid in a Disney movie, playing a cross-dressing granny and a mentally retarded manchild just to be around children in other movies, and starring in his final role as [[Hutchence's Syndrome|David Hutchence]] in the comfort of his own home. Disqualified as a nominee as his career had already been dead well before he was.

An Winner

[[Elliot Rodger]] wins the prize for 2014. He will be awarded the prize in a small ceremony on [[ED:IRC]]. Watch [[TJC]] for details.

[[2015]]

of the [[2015]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]
2015 was a year rife in violence and misery. This can be said of any year; however, 2015 had the most mass shootings occur in history, as well as a lot of lulzy suicides.

===Nominees===
*[[Bryce Williams]] - A.K.A Vester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan II, was a irl gay nigga who had an episode which resulted in him bringing his shitty nigger pistol [[glock]] to his former workplace, killing a few of his ex-coworkers in the process- live on TV.
*[[Chris Harper-Mercer]] - One of several mass shooters as of late. Notable for legit posting on 4chan, which prompted several memes and created a 15-minute shitstorm.

Honorable mention

*[[ISIS Paris Attack 13-11]] - Muslims culturally enrich Europe. The result is over a hundred dead surrender monkeys. Terrorists killed in action, so they're disqualified.

An Winrar

The winnar for 2015 is [[Chris Harper-Mercer]]! Don't go to school tomorrow..

[[2016]]

of the [[2016]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]
Pretty much 2015 but with less high scores and one less tranny freak.

Nominees

*[[Ali David Sonboly]] - True Aryan of Germany, inflicted dozens of non-white roach-raced casualties. Became an hero.
*[[Bob8466]] - A high schooler from [[Iowa]] who was close to shooting up his school, but chose to become an hero by shooting himself in the head outside instead. He was a member of ED's Steam group, and for that, we extend a nomination to him. RIP ;_;
*[[Tiziana Cantone]] - Some cocksucker whore from [[Italy]] who cheated on her boyfriend and sucked [[37]] dicks in a row. The videos leaked and she got trolled hard, enough to commit [[suicide]] and wipe her useless traitorous whore life from this world. Good riddance.
*[[AcidChan]] - Anon becomes an hero by injecting acid into his fucking veins. He is never heard from again.
*[[Justin-anon]] - Another anon attempts to an hero, this time slicing the fuck out of his wrists and suffering massive blood loss. Believed to have died.
*[[Hillary Clinton]] [[leftard|supporters]] - Gained a landslide majority of popular votes in the nomination thread- sadly, only a scant few became an hero.
*[[Ted Cruz]] & [[Jeb Bush|Jeb Bush's]] presidential campaigns.

Disqualified

*[[Omar Mateen]] - Killed in Action; not suicide.
*[[Mohamed Lahouaiej Bouhlel]] - Killed in Action; not suicide.

An Winrar

[[Tiziana Cantone]] gets it for becoming an hero after being exposed as a traitorous cocksucking slut! And because mass shootings have become a stale [[forced meme]].

[[2017]]

of the [[2017]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]
Quite possibly the [[lulz|lulziest]] year to date.

A tranny offed himself and three others for his imaginary waifu, a gambler goes for the [[High Score]], we piss on the grave of a [[pervert|child molester]] and an obsessed fan of school shootings that spent his entire life preparing for his big day is finished even before he starts when he is cucked by a couch.

Nominees

*[[Robert Seman]] - Child molester who jumped from the top floor of the [[Youngstown|Mahoning County Courthouse]].
*[[Steve Stephens]] - Nigger who shot an old man in the face and put in on Facebook. Became an hero because he couldn't get his McDonald's Chicken McNuggets.
*Aaron Hernandez - Former NFL star who hanged himself in prison after murdering Odin Lloyd.
*[[Randy Stair]] - Tranny [[Columbiner]] that was obsessed with Danny Phantom. Killed three people at the store he worked at and took [[shotgun mouthwash]] to be with his waifu.
*[[Linkin Park|Chester Bennington]] - Linkin Park frontman who hanged himself because he realized that there was no coming back from making an album as shitty as One More Light.
*[[Grunge|Chris Cornell]] - Did the same just like Chester Bennington, finally got the [[Black dick hoax|black hole sun to come]]
*[[Scout Schultz]] - A deranged tranny who killed himself via death by cop.
*[[Stephen Paddock]] - A gambler who wanted to press his luck on a crowd of thousands of Country music fans before doubling down on himself.
*Tommy Page - Former member of New Kids On The Block who had no flair for [[irony]] and swallowed a bottle of pills because he didn't want to be Hang'n Tough. Only claim to fame is that he was in that band with Mark Wahlberg's brother.
*[[Lil Peep]] - Emo Rapper that did more than just talk about suicide and deleted himself after reading [[Dr Who|The Veritas]].
*[[Slobodan Praljak]] - Croatian hero who killed many muslims in the Bosnian war. During his trial for war crimes announced "I am not a war criminal!" and downed a bottle of poison, then said "I just drank poison" as the judge was telling him to "respect the court" and dropped dead on the spot.
*[[User:AlGore]]/[[William Atchison]] - ED sysop who killed two people at his high school, then an hero'd. Somehow managed to get a worse score than Randy Stair.

Honorary Mention

[[Randy Robert Stair]]

He did it all for the ghost nookie

Come on

The ghist nookie

Come on

So Danny Phantom can take that ghost cookie

And Stick it up his, yeah!

Stick it up his, yeah!

Stick it up his, yeah!

An Winrar

[[User:AlGore]]/[[William Atchison]] - For being that special type of person that chooses to die in the exact same way that they lived by bringing a smile to our faces on their way out. R.I.P. The Sofa Cuck.

[[2018]]

of the [[2018]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]
According to your [[leftard|libtard]] masters, [[Trump|Our great and mighty war god]]'s oppression has sickened our country and is spreading an illness that shall devour every soul in the land so expect a good show this year. Think The Stand

Nominees

*[[Shuaiby]] - [[Kurt Cobain]] wannabe and possible tranny who livestreamed himself blowing his head off, posted the stream to [[R9k]].
* [[Nasim Aghdam|Nasim Najafi Aghdam]] - Crazy bitch who tried to shoot up the HQ of [[YouTube|JewTube]], miserable failure who did worse than [[William Atchison|couch cuck]].
* [[Verne Troyer]] - Best known as Mini-Me. Drank himself to death.
* [[Sweden|Avicii]] - [[Gore|Cut himself to death with a broken wine bottle.]]
* [[Kate Spade]] - Killed her self out of despair because she was rich.
* Anthony Bourdain - Decided to take his chances on finishing his game of hangman with [[Kate Spade]] who rage-quit 5 June 2018, (and lost) 3 days later on the 8th.
* [[Chloe Sagal]] - Attention-whoring tranny scammer who set himself on fire in the middle of a public park because he was homeless and insane. Had a long history of [[Threatening suicide|suicide-baiting]] before finally doing it for real.
* [[Richard Russell]] - A lowly airline baggage handler tired of being down on his luck, who decided to end it all with one hell of an airline joyride, before crashing it far away from anyone who could get hurt. A true American Hero.
*https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/utah-plane-crash-house-home-payso-duane-youd-argument-wife-a8491121.html%3famp" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Duane Youd - After a fight with his wife, Duane stole a plane, went all [[9/11]] and crashed it into his house.

Disqualified

*[[Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting|Nikolas Cruz]] - Arrested after his epic shooting spree.
*[[Santa Fe High School Shooting|Dimitrios Pagourtzis]] - Surrendered to the police after shoot out.
*[[Capital Gazette Shooting|Jarrod Ramos]] - Arrested in action.

An Winnar

Chloe Sagal: She may have been a tranny, but I guess she still had the balls to go through with it.

[[2019]]

of the [[2019]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]

Nominees

*[[Pie Pivotmontier-O]] - 15 year old YTPer and Spongebob fanboy. Jumped off a bridge due to abusive parents.
*Brody Stevens - Some Noone comedian no one cared about that an hero'd
*Kelly Catlin - Dyke looking cyclist bitch who an hero'd, mega Baww from the Olympic community.
*[[Suzano School Shooting|Guilherme Taucci Monteiro & Luiz Henrique de Castro]] - Based Sopa de macacos who zerg'd their school with bows and a Revolver.
*Arvind Sinha - Leader of the Indian Air Force, An hero’d after almost starting World War III
*Alan García - Former Peruvian President that shot himself in the head when he was being arrested for money laundering and taking bribes.
*[[Sol Pais]] - Retarded girl obsessed with Columbine and wanted to shoot up the place as a tribute. Killed herself in the woods and died alone like you will.
*[[Etika]] - He wuz depressed n shieeett n jumped off the Manhattan bridge only to be found 5 days later
*[[Santino William Legan]] - Incel who shot up a garlic festival and did poorly.

Disqualified

*[[Brenton Tarrant]] - Removed kebab and got arrested.
*[[DeWayne Craddock]] - Showed that America still has it, and got pwned by cops.
*[[Connor Betts]] - Killed in action
*[[Patrick Crusius]] - Arrested. The west has fallen.
*[[Jeffrey Epstein]] - Suicide too ambiguous.

Honorable mention

*[[Gleb Korablev]] - Blew his head off with a Saiga semi-automatic shotgun on VK Live (Russian [[Brenton Tarrant|Facebook Live]]). Afterwards, a [[pretty cool guy]] on JewTube uploaded a clip of the stream titled 1444.

An Winnar

[[Etika]]: For all of the [[lulz|juicy drama]] you have given us, especially the Ethan Kline & [[Keemstar]] drama, You, Etika, are ED's 2019 Golden Ipod Winnar.

[[2020]]

of the [[2020]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]
Due to lack of lulzy suicides due to the [[Coronavirus|Commie Plague]], 2020's Golden Ipod Winnar is Apollo Legend. Apollo Legend was a Gamer from YouTube, who was most well known for, before his [[An Hero|an heroing]], being a Streamer with a large fanbase, being a Gigantic Asshole, and defending a White Nationalist named RWhiteGoose. Before officially killing himself, he blamed DarkViper and EZScape for his Suicide. To put icing on the cake, another YouTuber by the name of Karl Jobst would try to pin this suicide on [[Billy Mitchell]] despite having nothing to do with the suicide, and as expected, Billy Mitchell would sue Karl Jobst over this allegation and [[Epic Win|won massively]] in April [[2025]], and Karl Jobst would then lose all credibility after that.

A close second for winner was [[2020 Nashville Bombing|the Nashville bombing guy]], but People stopped giving a fuck after less than a week.

Honorable mention

*[[Ronnie McNutt]] - who turned his face into ground spaghetti on [[Facebook]] live, Became one of the biggest lulzfests in [[internet]] history.

[[2021]]

of the [[2021]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]
Year #2 of the COVID plague.

Nominees

*[[Brandon Hole]] - Nazi horsefucker, who was maddeningly in love with applejack. Couldn't meet his tulpa GF IRL, and "Went Postal" so to speak.
*[[Samuel Cassidy|Samuel James Cassidy]] - Oldfag boomer who went crazy and shot up his workplace
*[[Jürgen Conings]] - Played Hide N' Seek with Interpol for 3 weeks; He was later found dead and decomposing
*[[Jake Davison]] - Ugly [[Incel]] britfag who shot and killed 6 people including [[Pedophile|children]]
*[[Lowtax]] - Died of an overdoes
*Aidan Ingalls - [[Incel]] [[Columbiner]] from Michigan who was almost IRL banned for threatening to commit a school shooting, only shot up a pier, killing only one person.
*[[Olympics|Cameron Burrell]] - Fastasfuck olympic nigger who shot himself in a parking lot
*UK Thang - [[Azn|Blazn Azn]] who shot up a Kroger in Tennessee and An hero'd
*[[Nikita Lytkin]] - [[3 guys 1 hammer]] copycat serial killer

Disqualified

*[[John McAfee]] - [[Jeffrey Epstein|SSDD]]
*[[Ahmad Al Aliwi Al-Issa]] - [[Muslim|Dirt Worshiper]] who committed snackbar in Libtard Colorado city, got nearly pnwt by cops
*[[Ilnaz Galyaviev]] - Ruski who shot up his local school, did poorly and was a [[Vladislav Roslyakov|copycat]]
*[[Timur Bekmansurov]] - Sh0t up sk00l, got crippled by a police officer, lost his leg, and is somehow still alive.
*[[Ethan Crumbley]] - Ugly autist who did piss-poorly, only fragging 4 kids Also is still alive and kicking in prison retards
*[[Byuu]]/Near - Tranny who was harassed by Kiwifarms enough to fake their own suicide note and delete all social media, No evidence of suicide

An Winnar

[[Lie|(SPOILER ALERT)]] [[Lowtax]] ended up being the winner for this year, by a lot. Our condolence are with something awful; we hope he has 5 bucks for goon heaven.

[[2022]]

of the [[2022]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]
The third and final year of the [[Coronavirus|COVID plague]], before everybody [[Shit nobody cares about|stopped giving a fuck]] when the war in [[Ukraine]] began.

EDiots were too lazy to start the vote back in December of 2022 or January of 2023, so the vote had to start in February of 2023. The results can be seen

.

Nominees

*Gregory Pardun - Based father who shot his nagging wife and who still watched [[SpongeBob]] at 16 and made [[YouTube Poops]], offed himself to avoid [[buttsecks]] in prison.
* Nikolai G. - Anonymoose German 18-year-old who shot up his university with cowboy guns.
* [[High_Score/Loserinfo#Raymond_Spencer|Raymond Spencer]] - [[Mutt]] who shot up a neighborhood in Washington D.C and recorded it. Also had a poster of [[Yakub]].
* Michael Louis - [[Nigra]] who went crazy and shot up a [[hospital]] after [[Drug Addict|being refused painkillers.]]
*[[Ethan Blair Miller]] - Edgelord tryhard who shot up his local [[Jared Lee Loughner|Safeway]]. Failed to beat [[Payton]]'s or [[Tranny Phantom]]'s score.
* [[Artyom Kazantsev]] - Slavic [[Nazi]] who shot up a school like his [[Vladislav Roslyakov|idols]] before, [[Do it faggot|and actually finished the job]].
*[[Nathan Larson]] - [[Libertarian|LOLbertarian]] [[Sick Fuck|pedophile rights advocate]] who was arrested after [[To catch a predator|kidnapping a 12-year-old.]] Did the [[Doing it right|rare an hero of starvation in prison.]]
* Jason David Frank - The [[Power Rangers|Green Power Ranger]]. Go Go'd his neck into a noose.
* Stephen "tWitch" Boss - [[Nigger]] DJ of [[Jerry Springer|The Ellen DeGeneres Show]]. Shot himself.
* [[Panya Khamrab]] - Outdid [[Adam Lanza]] by stabbing and shooting a bunch of kids to death, before coming back home to delete his family.

Disqualified

* [[Frank James]] - [[Schizo]] nigger who shot up a subway in [[Brooklyn]] before giving himself up.
*[[Payton Gendron]] - [[Lies|Totally real and mentally ill white teenager who shot up a grocery store in Buffalo, killing a couple nigs.]]
*[[Salvador Ramos]] - [[Tranny]] [[spic]] who killed [[Sandy Hook|20+ kids]] at a school after shooting his poor granny in the face.
*[[High_Score/Loserinfo#Zaniar_Matapour|Zaniar Matapour]] - [[Islam|Snackbar]] in [[Norway]]. During [[Fag Enabler|pride month]] to add insult to injury.
*[[Robert Crimo]] - [[SoundCloud]] sadboy [[rapper]] who shot up a 4th of July parade.
*[[Orlando Harris]] - The [[Typical|2nd black mass shooter of 2022]]. Was a [[Columbiner]] and [[Black people|blackcel]], shot up high school before being gunned down by wascist ass pigs in vain of Michael Brown.
* Countless suicides by dumb [[Women|broads]] trying to take off-brand [[abortion]] meds to kill their babies after [[Roe v. Wade]] was overturned.

An Winnar

Gregory Pardun, because you gotta respect a guy who not only acknowledges that he fucked up but also cleans up his mistake so well that it'll never be anyone else's problem.

[[2023]]

of the [[2023]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]
The first year proper without COVID ([[Japan|for most people]]).

Voting took place on [[Christmas|December 24]], [[2023]] and ended January 1, 2024. The results can be seen

.

Nominees

*[[High_Score/Loserinfo#Anthony_McRae|Anthony Dwayne McRae]] - [[Boomer]] [[Nigger]] who shot up [[College|Michigan State University]].
*[[High_Score/Loserinfo#Huu_Can_Tran|Huu Can Tran]] - [[80-year-old Chinese man in panties|Oldfag Azn]] who shot up a dance studio killing other gooks before getting a [[Wanted Level|6 star wanted level]] by the FBI ending in his [[An hero|honorable seppuku]].
*Diana "Coconut Kitty" Deets - Blow-up doll-looking [[OnlyFans]] [[whore]] with millions of followers suddenly killed herself because "[[Bawww|darkness weighed down on her heart]]". https://coomer.party/onlyfans/user/coconutkitty" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">(click 4 nudez)
*[[Ted Kaczynski]] - Based uncle Ted, the Unabomber [[Jeffrey Epstein|killed himself in prison]] after a long battle with [[cancer]].
*[[Sinéad O'Connor]] - Can't get over son Shane's [[suicide]] so she kills herself like the [[Islam|Muslim]] she became when she turned her back on [[Catholic|Christ]] to become a heathen that worships a rock in [[Saudi Arabia]] under the [[Terrorist]] name of Shuhada Sadaqat.
*[[Robert Card]] - [[Batshit Insane]] former Army fag shoots up bowling alley and gets away, [[pwns]] more noobs at a restaurant before [[Epic Win|getting away again]] and eventually decides to [[self-pwn]] after realizing a [[schizo]] like him isn`t escaping an [[FBI]] manhunt and that ending it instead will generate the most [[lulz]]. 18 killed and 13 wounded
*[[Ryan Christopher Palmeter]] - [[Brenton Tarrant|Attempted savior]] of the [[White Devils|white race]] who was caught trying to shoot up an [[Chimpmania|all black college]] so instead shot up a [[Food stamps|Dollar General]] and himself.
*James Yoo - Schizo [[azn]] who blew up his house with a flare gun after [[Police|gangstalkers]] attempted to raid his residence.
*[[Columbine_Copycats#Alina_Afanaskina|Alina Afanaskina]] - A 14-year-old Russian girl shot up her school in the name of [[Columbine]] to get back at her bullies. Only killed one person before blowing her brains out.

Disqualified

*[[Audrey Hale]] - Female-to-male mass shooter who shot up a Christian school in Nashville. Failed to an hero and was instead killed by cops.
*[[High_Score/Loserinfo#Mauricio_Martinez_Garcia|Mauricio Martinez Garcia]] - [[Wut|Beaner white supremacist]] who shot up a mall before being ventilated by police.
*Anthony Polito - [[Fail|Former professor]] who shot up the University of Nevada before getting KIA'd by cops. [[Stephen Paddock|Viva Las Vegas]].
*"The Trickster" - [[WatchPeopleDie]] user made for attention.

Honorable mention

*[[David Kozák]] - Became the current Czech High Score champion by shooting up a university in Prague, but this happened way too close to the end of the year, so nobody bothered to nominate him.

An Winnar

The [[Unabomber]] won, by far. All the other candidates were [[shit nobody cares about|absolute nobodies]].

[[2024]]

of the [[2024]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]
A year marked by a number of [[assassination]]s and [[FAIL|assassination attempts]], notably against [[the Donald]]. [[Luigi Mangione]]'s assassination of megacorporation CEO [[The Man|Brian Thompson]] using a 3D printed gun officially marked the beginning of the [[cyberpunk]] era.

Voting took place on New Year's Eve. The results can be seen

.

Nominees

*[[Aaron Bushnell]] - Zogbot [[Vietnam War|ching chong]] wannabe who self immolated himself outside the Israeli embassy to support the inbred goatfuckers of [[Palestine]]. [[:File:Aaron Bushnell Hero.mp4|Livestreamed it too!]] And got a street named after him!
*[[High_Score/Loserinfo#Dylan_Butler|Dylan Butler]] - Another edgy tranny who shot up his school. Only pwned two noobs and [[almost raped]] six others.
*[[High_Score/Loserinfo#Glenn_Litton|Glenn Litton]] - AARON BUSHNELL 2.0 : [[Adam Lanza|LANZANIAN]] [[Electric Boogaloo|BOOGALOO]]
*John Barnett - Boeing whistleblower that downed some glock mouthwash during a deposition against Boeing under [[Murder|mysterious circumstances]].
*Kagney Linn Karter - Pornstar [[whore]] who Kurt Cobain'd herself with a shotgun.
*Maxwell Azzarello - Schizo redditor who self-immolated in front of the New York City courthouse where [[The Donald]] is on trial.
*[[Natalie Rupnow]] - [[Audrey Hale]] if she were a Nazi instead of a pooner.
*Nex Benedict - Heckin' cute and valid non-binary teen who an hero'd cuz bullied
*Romeo Nance - Random Nigger killed eight people in a several shootings and tried to escape the [[party van]] but ending up having to An hero after the cops found him.
*Samuel Santana Andrade - Another boring school shooter in Brazil who pwned 3 classmates before an hero. Motive:Unknown (at the moment).
*[[Sewell Setzer III]] - [[Dying alone|Lonely]] nigger who simped for a Character.ai bot of [[Game of Thrones|Daenerys Targaryen]] a little too hard.
*[[Twomad]] - Unfunny pedophile nigger e-celeb who overdosed on fentanyl while playing [[Overwatch]]. [[Dying Alone|Wasn't found until 5 days after his death.]]

Disqualified

*[[Arda Küçükyetim]] - [[Tarrant kid]] who wounded 5 with a knife. Obviously 75% of Hack'N'Slash players don't an hero with or without [[Anton Lundin Pettersson|the help of the police]], so he failed.
*[[Colt Gray‎]] - [[Adam Lanza]] wannabe. [[Epic Fail|Killed 4 people]] and failed to an hero.
* - The hero we need but don't deserve.
*[[Mia Janin]] - She killed herself in 2021. She's only here because we just found out about her. She wouldn't have won the 2021 one either. Just another angsty slut.
* - Failed assassin of [[The Donald]] #2. V&.
*[[OceanGate|Stockton Rush]] - Killed 5 people (including himself) with his invention. The reason he wasn't a nominee in [[2023]] is because [[nobody cares]] about this [[aspie]]'s submersible.
* - Failed assassin of [[The Donald]] #1. Killed by the Secret Service.

An Winnar

This round goes to the self-hating Americunt and barbeque enthusiast [[Aaron Bushnell]], who took on the [[Fire Challenge]] and saved [[Palestine]]. Bonus points for [[Twitch|livestreaming]] the embarrassing moment he began to regret his decision and start screeching like a [[Ironic|creature from hell]].

[[2025]]

of the [[2025]] [[Golden iPod]]!]]
With 2025 scoring the [[Jonestown|biggest roster of an heroes to date]], the vote had to be split between two threads which can bee seen and .

Nominees

*[[Aco Martinović]] - Montenegroid went apeshit after losing a bar fight.
*[[Arthur Achleitner]] - Generic Columbine-obsessed loner, nothing special.
*[[Burntfishie]] - Tranny who jumped off St. Johns Bridge.
*Chang Wen - Hack'N'Slasher with some elements of Fire Emblem and Bomberman (he got no kills on the latter two modes). Jumped off the 6th floor of a building and died.
*[[Claudio Manuel Neves Valente]] - The Brown University shooter. Found an hero'd after playing hide and seek for 5 days.
*Davi Nunes Moreira - Retarded [[Portuspic]] died after... [[WTF|injecting himself with a butterfly]]? Don't ask because we don't fucking know how he did it.
*[[Desmond Holly]] - Sayori simp shot up his school before going Sayo-nara.
*[[Guy Edward Bartkus]] - Antinatalist Redditor who bombed a fertility clinic.
*[[Matthew Livelsberger]] - [[Drumpf]] hater blew up his Cybertruck outside his hotel in Las Vegas.
*Mellissa Rupnow - Mother of [[Natalie Rupnow]]. The tree doesn't fall far from the apple.
*[[Mikayla Raines]] - Saved thousands of animals, but killed herself over some [[Reddit]] comments.
*[[Nautica Malone]] - Nigger killed himself after getting caught [[fapping]] on camera at a drive-thru bikini cafe.
*[[Rickard Andersson]] - [[Anton Lundin Pettersson]] but with a gun instead of a sword.
*[[Robin Westman]] - Subpar knockoff of both [[Brenton Tarrant]] and [[Audrey Hale]] (but MTF instead of a pooner).
*[[Shane Devon Tamura]] - Former [[handegg]] player and nigger who went amok in NYC.
*[[Solomon Henderson]] - Self-hating nigger with ties to [[764]] shot up his school.
*Vince Zampella - [[Call of Duty]] co-creator crashed his Ferrari.

Disqualified

*Kai-ji Adam Lo - Deranged gook ran over 11 and hurt over 30, was arrested.
*[[Shamsud-Din Bahar Jabbar]] - Nigger killed 14 people with his truck before being killed by the [[Cops|pigs]].
* - Furfag shot [[Charlie Kirk]] in the neck to appease his troonmate. V& but temporarily got away with it due to some oldfag pedo lying about being the shooter.

An Winnar

You have to give it up for a [[Nigger|Black Man]] that chose that it would be more fun to go out and do a drive-by by shooting out the window of his car with his [[Penis|Dick]] rather than a gun.

[[Nautica Malone]] is this year's winnar because he took the [[Japan|samurai's]] way out and chose to [[an hero]] rather than face the shame of a video showing himself [[Masturbate|wanking]] in his car to half-dressed [[Whores|bimbos]] at a Bikini Beans coffee shop.

Malone earns this award, not for what he did but for the [[Shit|Shit Storm]] that followed his [[An hero]]ing. Like most sex crimes, [[Internets]] goons and his family tried to make Malone the victim by saying that The Great [[Masturbate|Fappening]] should have never been released onto the internet and was only done to shame Malone. These [[Retard|Weak In The Heads]] argue that Mister Handy should have been reported to the [[Police]] and the video submitted as evidence ignoring the fact that Malone sitting out in public and [[Masturbate|shaking his own tree]] would have made headlines and his little act of Self Love would have interested [[Fake|Pseudo-Reporters]] and [[Rantic Marketing|Clickbait]] sites on the internet, ensuring that his act of Five Finger Love would have gone national regardless.

To put the cherry on top, those [[Faggot|Big, Mean Boys]] in [[Prison]] love nothing more then [[Anal|Sticking It]] to Fresh Fish that come in to serve sex crimes so [[Suicide]] was really his only option.

[[2026]]

Nominees

*[[Jesse Strang]] - Nazi tranny shot up a school in a town called Tumbler Ridge. A bit on the nose, don't you think?

See also

*[[An Hero]]
*[[Suicide]]
*[[iPod]]
*[[Mitchell Henderson]]
*[[You win the prize]]

]]|[[The Great ImageFap Troll]]}}

|[[Adventure Time]]}}

[[Category:Internets Phenomena]]